Diversity in Our Community: Telling Our Stories

Bend’s sixth community conversation welcomed 37 participants.  For the first time, participants registered to attend on the Library’s web page.  Entering the Brooks room, I saw colorfully diverse faces, encouraging, since we would be discussing racial, age, and cultural diversity. Our room’s colorful tables and tickets, as well as the array of smiles, started the evening on a cheery and optimistic note.

The evening also began with a scrumptious dinner, provided by several of the group’s generous organizers. During dinner, we discussed, in groups of roughly six, the various groups with which we are affiliated and groups different from those. We discussed what it’s like to be in a group where you are a minority or different than other group members.
 
We then broke into pairs to share stories about our experiences of participating in diverse groups, while maintaining awareness of our differences and our common humanity and practicing listening for understanding. We then switched tables and repeated the exercise with a person new to us.

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As a full group we then reflected on the previous exercise. Participants noted:

• After hearing someone's story, it was easier to understand why people treat you as they do.
• Sharing our diverse experiences opens the door to deeper connections.
• Even when there is not a commonality, sharing opens the way to connection.
• The deepest connections are based on feelings, not content.
• We can maintain the openness we felt here in other conversations.
• We connected here on a deeper level than what we typically do - based on what is real, our essences.

 
Finally, we worked in small groups to identify action steps we can take based upon the evening’s learnings.  Groups then shared their #1 action ideas; these include:

• Suggesting books to others and to book clubs, books that may be uncomfortable.
• Once a week, approaching someone new, a stranger, and simply talking.
• Looking for differences and connecting, being more child-like--open and curious about others.
• Initiating connections with people who are lonely.
• Switching from judgmental to curious—for example, asking a homeless person about her life.
• Consciously and intentionally visiting/attending groups where you are not a member (e.g. other library groups – read the calendar)

 
Other favorite action ideas:

• Starting co-creative groups for connection.
• Being aware of how my privilege gives me an advantage.
• Trying to understand those of different viewpoints – respecting those who are different than me.
• Initiating more conversations.
• Taking better self-care, so that we have the energy to connect authentically.
• Visiting different faith communities.

 
Other ideas:

• Writing letters to the editor.
• Shifting from assumptions to curiosity.
• Considering how connection benefits us.
• Initiating a genuine connection with a challenging person.
• Challenging groups you participate in to actively listen.
• Deliberately finding others who are not “like me.”
• Looking for commonality.
• Committing to daily transactions of being pleasant.
• Asking, “what can I do or say to make your day better?”
• Starting real conversations in the grocery store.
• Slowing down to connect.
• Moving beyond electronic exchanges.
• Becoming aware of micro-aggressions.
• Embracing discomfort about the unfamiliar

Telling our stories opens our hearts and lives to opportunities to connect and grow.  I left eager to try four of our #1 action steps this month:  I am going to attend a church I know little about and have a meaningful conversation with someone there.  I also plan to suggest a controversial book to my book club, and I am going to connect with and buy lunch for a homeless person. While listening to my partner’s story, I learned about a group promoting conscious transformations, and I think I’ll join that group as well.  After all, we humans are simply interconnected atoms of eager energy!  I’ll let you know how these experiences unfold.  I feel compelled to make more meaningful connections.  I am new to Bend, which is, in and of itself, compelling.  What might you do this month to engage with someone different from yourself?

Story and photos by Susan Roudebush

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